10:47:00
Cristiano Ronaldo is in a good mood. Yeah, the Mill know what you are about to say. Look at how he acts on the pitch for goodness sake! Thumping his fists on the ground! Throwing his eyes to the heavens! Stamping his feet like a teenager who has been told that the chances of them going out on a school night are the same as those of David Cameron coming away from that chinwag with his underwear clean. But back to Ronaldo. Today he is especially happy. He’s walking around the bowels of the Bernabéu, enquiring how people’s days are going, laughing at the cleaners’ bad jokes and whistling Summer Holiday. Of course, Ronaldo didn’t pick that tune by accident. He really is going on a summer holiday. As soon as the season is over, he’ll do a week in Ibiza with the boys, a week in Madeira with his mum and sister and finish it all off with a few days in the Aran Islands studying the remains of the Bronze Age and Iron Age settlements. But back to Ronaldo and his happiness. He is particularly chirpy today because he has taken Embrace’s advice and decided to go back to what he knows, yes, Manchester United. It will cost the Glazers an eye-popping £80m but if it means they won’t have to have those protracted, platitudinous phone conversations with your man Van Gaal – Louis is the long-talker to beat all long-talkers – then it’ll be worth it.
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